larvatus prodeo
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Below are the 30 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Michael Zeleny" journal:[<< Previous 30 entries]
12:31 am
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a malthusian nightmare It is near future, and our planet is proliferating with humanity. You are a 28 year old man fleeing the roving bands of cannibals. Your only refuge is an uninhabited tropical island copiously supplied by coconuts and circled by schools of fish. Your only remaining concern is to satisfy your raging heterosexual libido in a politically correct fashion. Alas, you have no condoms, and your scruples debar you from orthogenital intercourse on pain of aggravating the global catastrophe. You must choose an unfailingly stimulating companion for the rest of your life. Unfortunately, your choices are limited.
Poll #1495193 Bend over and take it like a man!
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 4Which bloviatrix would you fuck in the ass, hard?
Tags: persiflage, politics, sex, sodomy
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10:33 pm
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l’homme aux rats Anarchist, Symbolist, insubordinate dreyfusard, man about town, Octave Mirbeau is an indispensable maître mineur of the Third Republic. His most popular work, Le Journal d’une femme de chambre, merited film treatment by the greatest Latin directors of all times, Luis Buñuel and Jean Renoir. His most scandalous novel remains unfilmable. In Le Jardin des supplices, which appeared in 1899, at the height of the Dreyfus Affair, Mirbeau targeted fear and hatred, the twin foundations of bourgeois society, in a narrative arc traversing the terrain of desire and disgust to culminate in a strange sexual obsession. ( And what about the rats? ) As a rodent, the rat is both taxonomically and etymologically dedicated to gnawing, rodere. Its intelligence and tenacity culminate in omnivoracity tending towards the extreme forms of cannibalism, qualifying this potentially docile and easily trained animal as an exemplary consumer in the wild. Since its inception 110 years ago, Mirbeau’s conjuration of rodential ass torture has gnawed and wriggled its way through the margins of respectable culture. ( For example… ) In our own time, we find a more extroverted way of flaunting deceased rodents in a male posterior: ( TransRatFashion alert! ) …which after all, is only a contrapositive to the popular practice of not giving a rat’s ass.
Crossposted to larvatus and strange_tears.
Tags: animals, aristotle, cicero, french, gerbil-clap, latin, mirbeau, sex, violence, weber
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10:27 am
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сообщение для бликсофанаточек
mutter_nacht: Сообщение для бликсофанаточек. Смотрите, какой лол: у Зеленого еще не прошел баттхерт. Блиа, уже десять лет прошло, пора бы успокоиться уже…
larvatus: Сообщение для бликсофанаточек. Смотрите, какой лол: Уж лучше смотрите сюда.
mutter_nacht: о, вы еще и мониторите ссылки на свою жежешечку, я в восторге. так забавно, что есть люди, которых настолько сильно волнуют отношения Бликсы и Эрин. они прям таки как настоящие звезды, которых знают чуть больше, чем три с половиной человека. меня волнует вопрос: почему “blood money from Min” и почему Эрин “chose the career path of a professional victim”? она выдумала всю эту историю? потому что в ином случае я не вижу причин, почему вы осуждаете ее, а не ее семью. не то чтобы я была фанаточкой Эрин, совсем наоборот даже, но ваша ненависть мне тоже как-то не совсем понятна.
larvatus: Не путайте презрение с ненавистью. Какой вменяемый человек сможет ненавидеть такое ничтожество? Насчёт пожизненного заклада девического влагалища, скажу лишь, что у его владелицы когда-то наблюдались другие профессиональные возможности.
mutter_nacht: вменяемый человек не уделяет столько внимания презираемому объекту, вам не кажется? вас волнуют упущенные провессиональные возможности владелицы влагалища? какая вам разница? что плохого в том, что она потребовала компенсацию за подобное обращение с собой? насиловать собственных детей - это же как-то ненормально вроде, а из от ваших постов создается впечатление, что вы больше сочувствуете отцу Эрин, чем ей самой.
larvatus: Представьте себе, что у Вас имеется пенис, малолетнее дитя, и амбиция приобретения астрономического состояния. Представили? А теперь задайте себе вопрос, станете ли Вы при этих условиях совать первое во второе, ставя под угрозу достижение третьего. Я всё это к тому, что где у батюшки непреодолимое влечение, там у доченьки трезвый расчёт.
mutter_nacht: какие-то взаимоисключающие параграфы Представили? А теперь задайте себе вопрос, станете ли Вы при этих условиях совать первое во второе, ставя под угрозу достижение третьего. ну. я бы не стала. и любой нормальный человек тоже не стал бы, даже если исключить из задачи третье. где у батюшки непреодолимое влечение то есть, батюшка все же стал. я не понимаю: насильника должно оправдывать то, что его влечение было непреодолимым и то, что он многим рисковал? или все же никто ничего никуда не совал? тогда я не понимаю, к чему здесь фраза про непреодолимое влечение. или если Эрин на самом деле не испытывает ужасных душевных мук из-за этого изнасилования, она вообще должна про него забыть и никому не рассказывать?
larvatus: По закону, трезвый расчёт в составе преступления осуждается строже, чем импульсивное и непреодолимое влечение.
mutter_nacht: конечно. но мне кажется, что изнасилование собственного ребенка и отсуживание денег у изнасиловавшего отца — это преступления разного порядка, разной тяжести. и изнасилование здесь более тяжкое. я вообще не понимаю, о чем мы здесь спорим, это же изнасилование собственного несовершеннолетнего ребенка. вы его предлагаете оправдывать как “просто папа очень любит тебя”?
larvatus: Я никого не оправдываю, и «humani nihil a me alienum puto», но трезвый расчёт в долгосрочном злоупотреблении своими доброжелателями мне менее понятен, чем импульсивное и непреодолимое влечение к ебле своей дочки.
alice_yustas_r:

larvatus: с точностью до наоборот: Pedicabo ego illos et irrumabo.
alice_yustas_r: Re: с точностью до наоборот: Катулл плачет кровавыми слезами и вертится в гробу(
mutter_nacht: Re: с точностью до наоборот: ваше поведение очень любопытно. я, конечно, понимаю, что женщина, для которой вы так много сделали, оставила вас ради какого-то сомнительного престарелого транса, который интересуется только ее деньгами, и у которого, к тому же, уже и не стоит (по вашему утверждению). понятно, что это обидно и бесит. но через десять лет продолжать обсуждать эту историю, да еще и заходить в журналы фанаточек Нойбаутен и доказывать, какое Бликса говно… это уже слишком. я не понимаю, чего вы хотите добиться? чтобы весь мир разделял ваше презрение к Жу и Баргельду? ваш эпический пост с письмами все заинтересованные уже давно прочитали и сделали выводы. или не сделали, потому что лично мне все равно, что у Эрин было тяжелое детство и деревянные игрушки, прибитые к полу, и каким именно образом она получила свои деньги. потому что для меня есть конечный результат: музыка Нойбаутен. я знаю, что без Эрин Нойбаутен уже давно не существовали бы. и что она позволяет делать им то, что они хотят, а не то, что хорошо продается. если для этого Бликса должен буквально продавать себя (я ему, конечно, сочувствую), но если он считает это приемлемым для себя, то это его дело.
larvatus: Re: с точностью до наоборот: Вы ничего не понимаете. Меня никто не оставлял ради какого-то сомнительного престарелого транса. Начиная с 1997 года, у меня с нынешней «мадам Деньжат» были сугубо дружеские и деловые отношения. Следующие два года она проживала в моём доме вместе со своим бойфрендом и его зловонными кисками. Более того, в конце 1999 года, она слёзно выпросила у меня и у моей семьи материальную помощь и моральную поддержку для домогательств в адрес Вашего героя и для извлечения компенсации за злоебучесть из её детоёбного батюшки. В то же самое время, она безвозвратно позаимствовала всё, что смогла у наших общих друзей. За все эти заботы они получили хуй на палочке, а я заимел сверхнаглый наезд от её родителей и их многомиллиардной корпорации. Предлагаю переосмыслить Ваши понятия в свете этой информации. Что же касается Вашего конечного музыкального результата, все люди вправе делать то, что они хотят, а не то, что хорошо продается. Именно на этих основаниях я совершаю свой собственный сверхнаглый наезд на крупнейшую компанию венчурного капитала и сопряжённых лизоблюдов и психопатов. В этом заключается мой собственный перформанс. Мне очень жаль, что он Вам не по душе, но я представляю его совсем не ради Вас
mutter_nacht: Re: с точностью до наоборот: мы вот тут втроем прочитали эту вашу историю и не поняли: зачем позволять кому-то пользоваться собой, а потом страдать из-за этого? вы тоже старательно изображаете из себя жертву. в свете представленной выше информации я все равно не понимаю, почему нужно продолжать даже через 10 лет продолжать писать в интернете пространные высеры на эту тему. Мне очень жаль, что он Вам не по душе, но я представляю его совсем не ради Вас наверное, именно поэтому вы пишете уже пятнадцатый комментарий в моем блоге.
larvatus: Re: с точностью до наоборот: Позволю себе напомнить Вам моё предложение представить себе, что у Вас имеется пенис. Из этой предпосылки проистекут дополнительные возможности межличностных сношений. Иначе говоря, Ваша пассивная позиция бликсофанаточки дополнится хотя бы умозрительно активной ролью заядлого прорывателя. Как сказано выше, pedicabo ego illos et irrumabo. А насчёт «ради кого», Вам сюда.
Tags: anarchism, degenerates, russian, sex, webex
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01:10 am
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integrity and blame Howard M. Kaminsky of 6130 Ridge Lane, Ocean Ridge, Florida 33435 writes in a letter to the TLS regarding Bernard Wasserstein’s Commentary on Hannah Arendt:As for his charges relating to Arendt’s use of Nazi authors and her inadequate love of the Jewish people, I admit, Jew that I am, to believing that some Nazi authors had important things to say not unrelated to their Nazism, above all the viciously anti-Semitic but incomparably brilliant Carl Schmitt (whom Arendt used even more than she says), and I also believe that Jews have created gentile hostility by demanding equal rights but refusing to surrender their ethnic integrity. Books have been written about this by a number of authors who are not overtly anti-Semitic—e.g. Kevin MacDonald and Albert Lindemann—and Arendt’s analysis of Jewish “responsibility” for anti-Semitism can hardly be dismissed as due to her “perverse world-view”, let alone her “combination of ira et studio [sic]”. Setting aside the insinuation of covert anti-Semitism, the notion of the Jews having created gentile hostility by demanding equal rights but refusing to surrender their ethnic integrity is baffling. Is it likewise possible to blame women for having created male hostility by demanding equal rights but refusing to surrender their sexual integrity? For that matter, is it possible to blame any man for having elicited the hostility of his peers by demanding equal rights but refusing to surrender his personal integrity? If the claim is that ethnic descent or religious confession are somehow unlike biological sex and personal identity in their moral implications, why is that the case, and how so?
Tags: jews, persiflage, philosophy, sex, usenet
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09:43 pm
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susan xu, stanford mom
WANTED: SUSAN XU

CHILD RAPE TOOL
WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR HUSBAND
BRUTALLY RAPED YOUR DAUGHTER?
[ ] REPORT HIM TO THE POLICE
[ ] REFER HIM TO A PSYCHIATRIST
[ ] WALK OUT AND NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN
[ ] PRETEND THAT NOTHING HAPPENED
[ ] TALK HER INTO ACCEPTING HIS RAPE
[ ] PAY HER A FORTUNE IN HUSH MONEY
CHECK ALL THAT APPLY
tool, n. “A person used by another for his own ends; one who is, or allows himself to be, made a mere instrument for some purpose; a cat’s-paw.” (The Oxford English Dictionary)
She shouldered the responsibilities of bringing up her children and supporting her husband Min Zhu to study in the top university of The United States—Stanford University in early 80s; and in 90s, she and her husband founded WebEx in Silicon Valley and successful made it come into the market in the Nasdaq.The company was purchased by the world’s giant—Cisco in 3.2 billion dollars in 2007, and she is a veritable “Female President of Silicon Valley.” She trained her son Lei Zhu who was sent to the young class in Tsinghua University without examination when he was 14-year-old, and then Lei Zhu was admitted to the trump department of Stanford University—Computer Department when he was 15-year-old and became the youngest student ever. She also sent her daughter and daughter-in-law to Stanford Business School. Her family members are all Stanford students, and she became a well-deserved “Stanford Mom.”
Thus Susan Yuqing Xu advertises herself to the families of prospective students of her Dwight International School. Her real story is somewhat different. Thus writes her daughter Erin Zhu:
Crossing the busy streets of Hong Kong the other day, my mother held on to my hand, a gesture that reversed roles we’d played so long ago. She trusts me, her estranged and prodigal daughter, to guide her safely around the reckless vehicles, I think to myself, and am strangely touched by the thought. I had never been particularly close to my mother; growing up she had always openly favored my brother, and had little patience or affection for me. It was only after I’d left home and became a grown woman that she started making overtures of friendship. To think that we had to come half a world away to renew the tenuous ties of blood between us…
It surprises me still, how much I want her to at least accept me and approve of what I do, even after all these years when I told myself that I did not care.
She and I sat in the dark watching the glittering Hong Kong skyline, and spoke of our disparate rememberances of the past. Left unspoken between us was the fact that neither of us could think of any happy memories of my childhood. She told stories of me as a baby; I told her small pieces of triumph from my more recent past; the long years that stretched between age three through sixteen went untouched, bypassed with a shake of the head and mutterings of “there were historical reasons”…
— Erin Zhu to Blixa Bargeld, 25 Nov 99 20:14:42 PST
the summer when I was fourteen, my father suddenly changed his tune when my mother left for an extended visit to China. he took off my clothes, praised my naked form held up to a bathroom mirror, and devoured my body with his lust.
I wanted to die; I tried to kill. I did not succeed in either.
— Erin Zhu to Blixa Bargeld, 27 Dec 99 13:40:45 PST
According to Erin Zhu’s complaint for childhood sexual abuse, which can be seen in Santa Clara Superior Court in case number CV-809286, throughout July of 1988, when her mother Susan Xu went back to China for eye treatment, her father came to her bedroom and raped her. At the time of Erin’s sexual assault by her father, her brother Lei Zhu, a Stanford sophomore, remained in his bedroom next door and heard her struggle and cry out, but did nothing. After Erin ran away from her family home in December of 1989, and made a police report complaining about sexual abuse and beatings by Min Zhu, the police placed her in a foster home in San Mateo. Min Zhu and Susan Xu then persuaded Erin to drop her criminal charges against her father and to come back home. As an incentive for her to comply with their request, her parents pledged to cease their old family ways. However, Min Zhu resumed physical and verbal abuse of his family members shortly thereafter. According to Erin, her mother Susan Xu knew about her rape and beatings by Min Zhu but did nothing to protect her. According to Erin, a year later Lei Zhu propositioned her while they shared a hotel room during a trip to San Diego. After Erin turned down her brother’s sexual advances, Lei pointed his penis towards her and masturbated in her plain view.
Instead of walking out on her Stanford-educated, child-molesting husband, Susan went in business with Min. Their startup, WebEx Communications, entered in a joint venture with a company owned by their daughter jointly with Michael Zeleny. When WebEx reneged on its contractual duties, Erin chose the career path of a professional victim by making a belated claim for childhood sexual abuse against her parents. Min and Susan paid off their daughter under the table in order to circumvent her 2.5% contingency fee arrangement with her lawyer, David W. Affeld. Affeld had to sue the Zhus to recover his fee. For his part, Zeleny attempted to settle their dispute by contacting its CEO Subrah Iyar. At that time, Min acted as its President and CTO, wile Susan was its Chief of Operations. WebEx’s next operation comprised death threats made against Zeleny. These threats echoed the language that Min Zhu had used to elicit sexual submission of his fourteen year-old daughter. As a result of the ensuing publicity, Min Zhu left his company and fled the United States. WebEx’s related operation, aimed at judicial silencing of Zeleny, ended in its paying his attorney’s fees and dropping its libel claims.
In addition to running Dwight International School in Victoria, the capital of British Columbia, Canada, Min Zhu and Susan Xu are operating middle and high schools under the auspices of Valley International Academy in Sunnyvale and Atherton, California. Now that their Stanford-branded offspring has flown the coop, Min and Susan have plenty of nubile flesh at hand to lavish their charitable urges.
Susan Xu is a veritable “Female President of Silicon Valley” and a well-deserved “Stanford Mom”. Think twice before putting your kids in her care.
CHILD RAPISTS AND THEIR ENABLERS
HAVE NO PLACE IN AMERICAN SCHOOLS
Tags: degenerates, sex, webex
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11:20 am
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hannah arendt’s wrinkled cunt rides again
( Read more... ) “…the true path to uber trolling lies in the careful study of Mikhail Zeleny. His 1993 masterpiece, Hannah Arendt’s Wrinkled Cunt, was a milestone. Truly a Russian-American icon!” —posted by cr8dle2grave on Fri Oct 06, 2006 at 02:52:27 PM EST
Tags: persiflage, philosophy, sex, usenet
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06:14 am
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parenting, indian style

Let us connect the dots. Min Zhu, Subrah Iyar’s partner in the founding of WebEx, raped his daughter Erin when she was 14 years old. Fourteen years later, Subrah went on court record denying Min’s sexual abuse of Erin and squandering WebEx shareholders’ assets in a futile attempt to cover up his partner’s incestuous rape. Which brings us to the question: How much “better” is Subrah getting to know his daughters? |
Marriage among the Kallans is said to depend entirely upon consanguinity. The most proper alliance is one between a man and the daughter of his father’s sister; and, if an individual has such a cousin, he must marry her, whatever disparity there may be between their respective ages. A boy, for example, of fifteen must marry such a cousin, even if she be thirty or forty years old, if her father insists upon his so doing. Failing a cousin of this sort, he must marry his aunt or his niece, or some near relative. If his father’s brother has a daughter, and insists upon his marrying her, he cannot refuse: and this whatever may be the woman’s age. —Edgar Thurston, Ethnographic Notes in Southern India, Madras: Government Press, 1906, p. 53; also see Sir James George Frazer, Folk-Lore in the Old Testament: Studies in Comparative Religion, Legend and Law, Vol. II, Macmillan and Co., 1919, p. 105, and Claude Lévi-Strauss, The Elementary Structures of Kinship, Beacon Press, 1971, p. 428, a translation of Les structures élémentaires de la parenté, La Haye, Mouton et Co., 1967.
The rhetoric of sex with family members also appears in many later tantras such as the Guhyasamāja and Cakrasamvara Tantras. In its fifth chapter, the Guhyasamāja Tantra states that the adept who has sex with his mother, sister, or daughter can attain great success. In its thirty-third chapter, the Cakrasamvara Tantra describes sexual yogic practices to be undertaken with a consort and promises that if readers undertake these, even with female relatives, they will be liberated. —Yudit Kornberg Greenberg, editor, Encyclopedia of Love in World Religions, ABC-CLIO, 2007, Volume 1, pp. 317-318.
Childhood in much of India begins with the young child being regularly masturbated by the mother, “high caste or low caste, the girl ‘to make her sleep well,’ the boy ‘to make him manly…’” This practice has been said to be widespread by many reliable observers, including Catherine Mayo—whose extensive investigations in India in the 1920s led to the first child marriage laws—a physician, an ethnologist, a religious scholar and a sociologist. As is the case with virtually all non-Western cultures, the child sleeps in the family bed for several years and regularly observes sexual intercourse between the parents. The extent to which Indian parents go beyond this and overtly have sex with the child cannot be determined. Rampal, the sociologist who recently did interviews modeled on the Kinsey studies about contemporary Indian sexual practices, concludes that “there is a lot of incest… It is hidden along with other secrets of families and rarely gets a chance to come out, like seduction at the hands of trusted friends of the family… To arrive at even a passable estimate of incest cases would be to touch the hornet’s nest… no one will ever confess to such a deed, therefore, any attempt to collect statistics may prove to be futile at present.” Boys as well as girls are reported as being masturbated and raped by the men in the family, including fathers, older brothers, uncles and cousins. By the time children are four or five, they are usually taken to bed at night by others in the extended household. “A particular uncle may like her to sleep in his room, which is considered a great gesture of closeness.” As one girl describes it: “I hardly ever slept with my parents after I was four. I rotated almost every night between my various uncles and sometimes my grandmother. But it was difficult to have any space in her bed because all the grandsons slept in her bed… So I preferred to sleep in [uncle’s] bed, who was very nice and put his arms around me in winter.” This practice is similar to the customary sharing of their wives by brothers, who have free sexual access to each other’s wives, an ancient practice still approved of in some areas in India. So acceptable is sex between close relatives in India that uncle-niece and cross-cousin marriages were preferred among certain Indian groups. As the old Indian proverb has it, “For a girl to be a virgin at ten years old, she must have neither brothers nor cousin nor father.” These sleeping patterns with relatives who live in common residences continue even after marriage, since husbands are often cold to wives, and sex with the husband’s younger brother is covertly encouraged by the family to give the wife someone to be “close” to. Grandfathers often call the little girls “my little wife,” give them candy and “play the role of an old seducer,” teasing them by saying “Don’t you want to marry me?” One observer stuns up traditional Indian sexual stimulation during childhood as follows: “The little Hindu girls are deflowered by the little boys with whom they play, and repeat together the erotic lessons which their parents have unwittingly taught them on account of the general promiscuity of family life throughout India. In all the little girls of less than ten years of age the complete hymen is wanting… Incest is often the rule rather than the exception.” —Lloyd DeMause, “The Universality of Incest”, The Journal of Psychohistory, Fall 1991, Vol. 19, No. 2, footnotes omitted.
Close-knit family life in India masks an alarming amount of sexual abuse of children and teenage girls by family members, a new report suggests. Delhi organisation RAHI said 76% of respondents to its survey had been abused when they were children—40% of those by a family member. The report suggests that disbelief, denial and cover-up to preserve the family reputation is often put before the individual child. —Daniel Lak, “India’s Hidden Incest”, BBC News, 22 January 1999.
[Subrah Iyar]’s family has grown through the years and the addition of his two daughters is one of the most treasured things in Iyar’s life. With 14-year-old Leena, who has a personality more like him and wants to be a lawyer, and 12-year-old Nikhita, who is more like her mother, yet wants to be a corporate leader just like her father, Iyar isn’t wasting any time getting to know his daughters better now that his workflow has leveled off. His children are only now starting to realize that their father is an important businessman with a great deal of responsibility. —Diana Rohini LaVigne, “Subrah Iyar’s WebEx-ceptional Success: Capturing the Power of the Internet”, indianlifeandstyle.com. |
Tags: degenerates, gainsbourg, sex, webex
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12:14 pm
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health care for special needs? In addition to her nationalized health care, Great Britain leads the world in a healthy approach to sex. With her team of counsellors and sex therapists, Dear Deirdre replies individually to around 1,000 Sun readers a week, helping them solve their problems – including the sexual difficulties most of us run into from time to time. Inspired by this progressive populism, I pose my follow-up question to the latest Presidential address.

Poll #1455829 special health care poll
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 6Is oral sex a human right?
Tags: persiflage, politics, sex
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02:12 pm
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necessity, who is the mother of invention… Harper’s Magazine breathlessly informs its readers that “Italian urologists increased the size and improved the function of test subjects’ penises with a device called the Andropenis.” By all appearances a simple traction implement, it does not seem to be eligible for patent protection. In this connection, herewith a choice of patents pertaining to the material bodily lower stratum:…ποιήσει δὲ αὐτήν, ὡς ἔοικεν, ἡἡμετέρα χρεία.
Tags: patents, persiflage, plato, sex
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06:07 am
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это мы, эдички Эдуард Лимонов: “Voleur un jour,—voleur toujours”,—гласит французская пословица, т.е. своровавший однажды,—вор навсегда. В данном случае предавший однажды, предаст еще раз.

Эдуaрд Кузнецов: Способов загнать жертву в западню много. Обычно «авторитетный вор», облюбовав «красюка», демонстративно приближает его к себе, пока тот не привыкнет к заискивающей почтительности. Потом втравливает его в карточную игру и оплачивает его долги, но, когда они достигают значительной суммы, вдруг впадает в гнев и требует вернуть все истраченные и проигранные деньги. Но где их взять? Вчера еще в почете, вчера ещё он сам травил, избивал, а то и участвовал в убийстве «неплательщиков», а сегодня… Кругом виноват, всякая шавка, недавние льстецы и лизоблюды теперь язвят и оплёвывают его всенародно. И сроку всего два дня… Затравленный, считая себя сплошь виноватым, он, съёжившись от страха, ждет смерти или чуда. «Не боись, паря,—хрипит ему искуситель.—Никто не узнает. Опять заживём как боги… Не боись: один раз—не пидарас…». И всё, человеку конец.

Бонус: издатель 1993 года книги Эдуарда Лимонова Это я, Эдичка говорит, что “автор не хочет ее переиздавать”.
Tags: jews, politics, russia, russian, sex, sodomy, virtue
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05:24 am
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opportunity costs
Foreign Opportunity The Home Front
Tags: persiflage, politics, sex
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04:55 pm
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doggy stylings Some time ago I wondered, what Aristotle might have meant by claiming in the Rhetoric 2.24, at 1401a22, that to be without a dog is most dishonorable. My solution arrived ( Read more... ) Crossposted to larvatus, linguaphiles, ancient_philo, classicalgreek, and classics.
Tags: greek, latin, philosophy, sex, traducement, translation
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05:17 pm
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submersible self-esteem Inspired by his skills as an escape artist, Harry Houdini sought to help deep sea divers unable to extricate themselves from a pressure suit upon finding themselves in trouble. On 1 March 1921, he received U.S. Patent Number 1,370,316 for an new and improved diver’s suit. By comprising two halves with a locking joint in the middle, Houdini’s invention enabled the trapped deep sea diver to slip out of the suit quickly, while submerged. He would then have a chance to escape and reach the surface without assistance. The construction also enabled the diver to don and doff the suit without assistance.

A more intimate application of Houdini’s invention went unappreciated heretofore:
Уже давным-давно замечено, как некрасив в скафандре Водолаз. Но несомненно есть на свете Женщина, что и такому б отдалась.
Быть может, выйдет из воды он прочь, обвешанный концами водорослей, и выпадет ему сегодня ночь, наполненная массой удовольствий. (Не в этот, так в другой такой же раз). Та Женщина отказывала многим. Ей нужен непременно Водолаз. Резиновый. Стальной. Свинцовоногий.
Вот ты, хоть не резиновый, но скользкий. И отвратителен, особенно нагой.
Но Женщина ждет и Тебя. Поскольку Ей нужен именно Такой.
―Владимир Иосифович Уфлянд, 1959 |
Well known by folk forever and a day is the deformity of Diver in his suit. It’s just as true, and well beyond dispute, that Woman dreams of him, having his way.
Consider him, sprung up in fetid spray, festooned and fringed in glutinous seaweed. He’s looking forward to a night of sensual play. (If not this once, just down the road he will succeed.) The Woman who a myriad wooers mooted, she needs her Diver, not some substitute. So rubbery, so steely, so lead-footed.
You there, if not so rubbery, yet clammy, and sickening, seen tumid, pale and nude.
But Woman yearns for You, craving your whammy, for only your Kind puts her in the mood.
―traduced by MZ, 29 April 2009 |
 Vladimir Ufliand, 21 January 1937 – 14 April 2007
Tags: poetry, russian, sex, traducement
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02:49 pm
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the senator’s consistent position Thus spake Barack Hussein Obama in his second debate with John McCain on 15 October 2008:I think that the Constitution has a right to privacy in it that shouldn’t be subject to state referendum, any more than our First Amendment rights are subject to state referendum, any more than many of the other rights that we have should be subject to popular vote. Regrettably, his uncompromising defense of the Constitutional right to privacy is belied by the approach to the Second Amendment. While campaigning in Iowa on 5 December 2007, even as he acknowledged that gun ownership “is an individual right and not just the right of a militia”, Obama stressed that “all rights […] are constrained by the needs and the rights of the community”. As Obama knows, Justice William O. Douglas conjured the right to privacy on 7 June 1965 in Griswold v. Connecticut, U.S. Supreme Court 381 U.S. 479, from the theory that “specific guarantees in the Bill of Rights have penumbras, formed by emanations from those guarantees that help give them life and substance.” By contrast, on 26 June 2008, Justice Antonin Scalia recognized the right of individuals to bear arms as an “enumerated constitutional right” in District of Columbia v. Heller, U.S. Supreme Court 554 U.S. . On the same day, Obama expatiated: ( Read more... ) Writing for the majority in Griswold, Justice Douglas ruled that the “zones of privacy” emanate from the First Amendment’s right of association, the Third Amendment’s prohibition against the quartering of soldiers in any house without consent in peacetime, the Fourth Amendment’s guarantee against unreasonable searches and seizures, and the Fifth Amendment’s privilege against self-incrimination. His colleagues were unpersuaded. Justice Potter Stewart, famous for knowing it when he saw it, found no constitutional infringements in the contraception ban at issue. Justice Hugo Black averred: “I like my privacy as well as the next one, but I am nevertheless compelled to admit that government has a right to invade it unless prohibited by some specific constitutional provision.” Favoring penumbral emanations over specific, enumerated constitutional rights is unlikely to withstand judicial scrutiny. Thus the stage is set for probing Obama’s position on local jurisdictions instituting their own abortion laws.
Tags: america, black enough, guns, politics, sex
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04:02 pm
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funny, he doesn’t look jewish Head of the Tokyo office of the Russian Federal news agency РИА Новости, andrei-fesyun, reports that Kōzō Okamoto, the sole surviving perpetrator of the Lod Airport Massacre, announced his conversion to Judaism whilst in Israeli custody, substantiating his newly found faith by circumcising himself with his own teeth.
 Kōzō Okamoto held aloft by Borat Sagdiyev Palestinian militants after his release by Israel in 1985
In unrelated matters, fellow frontbender Carol Liabos has declined to comment on rumors regarding her conversion to Islam.

Via allentown2007.
Tags: jews, politics, sex, stupidity, violence
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09:46 am
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hips and lips? In Russian, to mount steam engine style (поставить паровоз) is a form of Catullan congress that simultaneously bookends a passively voiced, feminine gendered subject with an irrumator as a prefix and a fututor or a pedicator as a suffix. What would you call this practice in other languages?
Ставить паровоз—это «pedicabo et irrumabo» или «futuo et irrumabo», только одной особи, одновременно и на пару. Один irrumator, другой fututor или pedicator, а между ними страдательный залог женского рода. Как это сказать на других языках?
Inspired by banter hosted by sguez; crossposted to larvatus, linguaphiles, and ru_translate.
Tags: russian, sex, sodomy
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12:10 pm
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one small push for man The latest contribution to urban lexicography of portmanteau words defines a shart as an anal counterpart to a French kiss.
Crossposted to larvatus and linguaphiles.
Tags: gerbil-clap, language, persiflage, sex, tasteless
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03:11 pm
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точка точка точка тире тире тире точка точка точка Интелегенты копаются в носу.
Tags: russian, sex, stupidity
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08:51 pm
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does sex have a purpose? Some answers are attempted here.
Tags: aristotle, evolution, kant, philosophy, sex, sodomy
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01:37 am
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Academic Expulsion Rules and Practices Query On 29 February of this year, two days before the election of pint-sized Dmitry Medvedev to the post of the President of Russian Federation, performance art group Vojna (War), formerly best known for its eccentric commemoration of conceptual poet Dmitry Prigov in a moving train of the Moscow Metro, mounted another exhibition in the Biological Museum. This time, they performed in support of the survival of the bear as the totem animal of ancient Slavs. Notably, the run-up to the election prominently featured a spontaneous youth movement of “bear cubs” rallying in support of Vladimir Putin and his designated successor, whose last name fortuitously echoes notional kinship with Ursus arctos. Thus the most recent Vojna performance featured allegedly authentic sexual intercourse under the banner captioned FUCK FOR BEAR CUB’S HEIR.
In the wake of this affair, some of its participants were identified as students of the Philosophy Department of the Moscow State University, from which they were expelled after the mandatory hand-wringing faculty sessions. Their expulsion was allegedly motivated by considerations of philosophical decorum. Coincidentally, political technology is the most lucrative specialty taught by the MSU Philosophy Department at present.
In the ensuing discussion, several parties have posed the question of whether or not students engaging in similar behavior would have been expelled from Oxford or Harvard. I therefore ask all interested and informed parties to weigh in on this issue with considerations of rules and precedents.
Crossposted to larvatus and elitistasshat; banned from philosophy.
Tags: bullshit, philosophy, sex
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09:34 pm
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on y va African stories follow a standard pattern which dictates that the attention of the listeners must be held. At no time must boredom set in. One must play with the listeners’ emotions as one does with a toy doll. Make them laugh, make them cry, make them angry, thwart their expectations, puzzle them one moment, delight them, or repel them, the next. And always leave them with wide open mouths, begging for more. —Vusamazulu Credo Mutwa, Indaba, My Children: African Folktales, Grove Press, 1999, p. 529
You’re violating the first rule of being Steve. — Who? — Learn to eliminate your desire. […] This takes us to the second rule of being Steve. You have to do something excellent in her presence, thus demonstrating your sexual worthiness. […] That takes us to part three of the Tao of Steve. After you’ve eliminated your desire, and after you’ve been excellent in her presence, then you must retreat, okay? […] I made a cheat sheet so I wouldn’t forget. “Be desireless, be excellent, and be gone.” —The Tao of Steve
Edmond Haraucourt : « Partir, c’est mourir un peu. » Louis Tiercelin : « Mourir, c’est partir un peu. » Alphonse Allais : « Mourir, c’est partir beaucoup. » Jacques Prévert : « Martyr, c’est pourrir un peu. »
Tags: french, persiflage, sex
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02:55 pm
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exploiting the inalienable The Whore of Mensa
One thing about being a private investigator, you’ve got to learn to go with your hunches. ( Read more... ) It felt good.
— Woody Allen, Without Feathers, Warner Books, 1975, pp. 35-41
Tags: business, humor, sex
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01:19 pm
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hollywood scuttlebutt Responding to tepid box office for his latest venture into transgressive ersatz hardcore, Ang Lee is developing a simultaneous sequel to his two greatest hits to date, tentatively entitled Crouching Penis, Hidden Arsehole.
Tags: movies, persiflage, sex, sodomy, tasteless
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07:48 pm
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за письки из подполья Стало известно, что Дмитрий Евгеньевич Галковский хвастается своей способностью “за неделю довести до слёз и нервного срыва любого”.
В связи с нынешней годовщиной рождения создателя прообраза подпольного типа Дмитрия Евгеньевича, я объявляю следующий вызов: Если Галковский до 19 июля 2008 года доведёт меня до слёз и нервного срыва, он получит миллион рублей по нынешнему валютному курсу. Но ежели не доведёт, с него причтётся мемориальный Приговский перформанс. То есть, в случае неудачи провокаций Дмитрия Евгеньевича, ему придётся исполнить и запечатлеть сеанс публичного рукоблудия в годовщину смерти Дмитрия Александровича Пригова, в час пик на кольцевой в Московском метрополитене.
Условия моего предложения таковы: ( Read more... )
Я буду лично признателен всем своим русскоязычным друзьям за последующее распространение этого вызова.
Tags: birthday, onanism, persiflage, russian, sex, stupidity, vanity
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01:13 pm
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secret names for tainted love At the onset of puberty the fortunate schoolboy meets the most intense excitement that befalls a human explorer. What alien terrain stirred up more virile pilgrims than the landscape of female anatomy? ( Read more... ) Russian men classify vaginas in accordance with their location and orientation. The lowly sipovka, taking its name from a coarse pipe fashioned out of a bog reed or tree bark, finds itself closely aligned with the anus, and thus best suited for retrograde engagement in the dorsal-ventral position. The most common sinyavka, bearing a name shared by the herbaceous perennial “widow flower” of the genus Knautia in the family Dipsacaceae and mycorrhizal mushrooms of the genus Russula in family Russulaceae, angles away towards the front, equally suitable for manly address from front and rear. In the lay of this venereal land the pride of place belongs to the korolyok, the literal little king or golden nugget, standing proud towards the navel and yielding the finest fit for mutual engagement therewith. What other language can boast such sexual refinement? ( Read more... )
Crossposted to larvatus and linguaphiles.
Tags: language, lexicography, persiflage, russian, sex, tasteless
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11:53 pm
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и мальчики кровавые в глазах Давно я тебе не писал. Сейчас вспомнилось. Сидел я вчера за столом с двумя новыми друзьями и подругой средней давности. Как ты уже догадался, все кроме меня ― китайцы. Мужчина из Гонконга, его подруга из Даляня, моя из Тайпея. Познакомились, обычное дело, на мужских основах, на стрельбище. Теперь ходим стрелять по разу в неделю. Из пистолета Вонг кстати попадает получше меня. Зато тарелочек разбил больше я. А из винтовок пока не пробовали. Его отец умер от рака полтора года назад. Его мать живёт рядом, в наблюдении пока не нуждается. Сам же как ты и я, дамский угодник. ( Read more... )
Кстати, ты будешь смеяться. Меня заочно записали в гомосексуалисты. Причём сам же виноват. Вечный онанист принялся шантажировать бывших коллег, якобы на основании перлюстрации их электронной почты, якобы содержащей компромат в связи с нетрадиционной сексуальной ориентацией. Тут и я, известное дело, предупреждаю его об уголовной ответственности. Типа, можно доиграться до статьи, а тогда его отношение к представителям сексуальных меньшинств встанет с совсем другого конца. Он же в ответ не в бровь, а в глаз: “Вы педераст?” Я думаю, человек с философским образованием, написал дипломную работу о Платоне. Отвечаю: “Не более, чем Сократ.” Тут мне и позорное клеймо и виртуальная опала. Вот и хожу весь оплёванный. А что, так мне и надо. За сетевое притеснение моносексуалиста. ( Read more... )
Tags: death, father, russian, sex, stupidity
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02:24 pm
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os seminovos “Ao mestre, com Carinho”
Já te expliquei.
Tags: graphic, music, sex, viral
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09:25 pm
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enter the gerbil ( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )
Tags: burroughs, gerbil-clap, humor, sex, sodomy, southern, tasteless
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09:33 am
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fred & gene, we hardly knew ya
“At 1216 hours, [Senator Larry] Craig [(R-Idaho)] tapped his right foot. I recognized this as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct. Craig tapped his toes several times and moves his foot closer to my foot. I moved my foot up and down slowly. While this was occurring, the male in the stall to my right was still present. I could hear several unknown persons in the restroom that appeared to use the restroom for its intended use. The presence of others did not seem to deter Craig as he moved his right foot so that it touched the side of my left foot which was within my stall area,” the police report states.
Tags: politics, sex, sodomy, stupidity
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04:38 pm
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etymology rulez This week’s cover tributary of The Times Literary Supplement is etymologist extraordinary and the patron saint of lonesome computers and far-flung Internet, savvy computer technicians and bungling computer users, innocent schoolchildren and dissipated students, Isidore of Seville: ( Read more... ) Characteristically, pedantic humor of this transplanted British egghead has been anticipated by a plebeian colonial contributor to Urban Dictionary nearly two years ago.
Crossposted to larvatus and linguaphiles.
Tags: bullshit, language, sex
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